Another way to vent...

Well, this is it, isn't it? I make a blog and talk about whatever whenever, etc. etc. Well, I must say, It will be interesting, typing out my thoughts and feelings to the uncleaned masses, and seeing their reactions, if they even will read this in the first place. But eh, it's another way to vent, and I'll gladly use it, whether people see or not, though it would be... interesting to say the least, if they viewed my blog.

So let's get cracking, shall we?

Okay, today was decent. I spent all day on the PC, a few hours playing Fallout 3.

And an hour ago my father had to go to the emergency room.... again.

From Prostate Cancer, to preparing to Dialysis, he has gone multiple times, for various reasons. Now we wait for him to go on Dialysis, since he is Diabetic, he is not eligible for a kidney transplant, so he must spend the rest of his life on dialysis, the Artificial kidney.

What does that mean? Well, when he goes into dialysis, he will die within a few years. Theoretically Dialysis can keep a man alive for decades, but more than likely he will die in a few years from complications, or from missing a session, etc.

So I have been doing my best to mentally prepare for his death in a few years. he probably might make it to see my graduation from high school. hopefully.

Ach, But I am a pessimistic sort, am I now? Though yes, I do tend to be that way, I find ways to adapt to the situation, or at least I try to. Which I why I have been preparing for his death, trying to make my father's last few years as comfortable for him as I can, and ready myself for his death. i am not afraid of death. It is not the end of the journey, as some think, but the beginning of a new one. But I would like to have my father's death postponed a few years.

Ah, it is at times like this I love her and miss her the most...