The Emotions Of A Man...

Can be strong, powerful ones.

I spent hours last night, thinking. I always think. I always think of this. So it's no different from all the others I've contemplated over this, all the other times I've thought up of possible scenarios and outcomes over this, and then just fantasied over this.

I talk of a specific emotion.

Love.

What an interesting emotion it is, love. It can destroy and create and man. It can motivate thousands to stand up to what they see and do something about it, it can cause someone to scar the one he/she loves forever. What an interesting emotion indeed.

Now here's the big kicker you've been waiting for.

I am in love.

BOOM! Didn't see that coming did ya?

Of course you did. You just didn't want to say anything.

It's 3:15 in the morning as I write this. The night, it is a time where I can truly think, where my mental thought process is at it's full capacity. So I think of how much I love that woman, and why. i have many reasons, I may share them in later posts, it beyond her physical beauty, in fact, let's name a few:

-She is a kind sweet person.

-She is loyal, and does her best for her friends.

-There is always much to do when she is around, never a bore.

But her heart belongs to that of another man. By God, my heart aches for her voice, her warmth, her touch, aches so that my fantasies can turn into reality, and we are in each others arms, happy and care-free. Yet, I feel like I know hat must be done.

Ach, but who am I, a mer fifteen year old teenager, who knows nothing of life, to say such things? My heart, my gut, my brain tells me, that I love this woman so much. I think, I have a good reason to say I do. And if this isn't love, I don't know what is.

I love her so much. I want her to be happy, always. her pain hurts me too, because there's is nothing I can do to ease it. I want her to always be happy. And the man she loves now makes her happy. So, I am content with this. Our friendship now is very special to me, and I feel lucky to be her friend.

But, I feel, she i have angered her, and this bothers me, i feel horrible over this.... What should I do? I must think over this, and come up with a decision by morning.